*4 years?*

Today is our 4 years anniversary.. 4 years.. Not too long, not too short.. Just 4 years.. It should have been long enough for him to understand me..but apparently, it isn't. No.. What can i say? Ya..i'm hurt..badly..

It started out fine.. Me being all dressed up for school..happy and excited..
"Wah, so pretty today huh? Engagement ah?" "Wah, you looked good. Ten years anni huh?" "So pretty..must be going dating right?"
But it ended up with pretty yaya returning home all by herself after school. No celebration.. Nothing. Actually, the day was well-planned out..by me.
He coming down in jeans with my white lilies.. How sweet.
Well, he came down. He did. After i helped him asked my friends how he can come by bus. But he's in bermudas..nothing in hand.
Bermudas.. Anniversary..
Just tell you how important this thing is to him isn't it?
Then..i guess you should be able to guess my reaction.. Ya.
There's more to it.. But i'll prefer not to say..

Why not give him another chance?
I dont know.. I'm just..tired.
Tired of always telling him what to do..for me.
Tired of being disappointed times and times again.
Tired of having to remind myself how wonderful he is..was.
Tired of creating the perfect relationship on my own..
Tired of being my own boyfriend..
Tired of forgiving..
Tired of him.

Today is coming to an end now.. Maybe..us as well.
All my thoughts on how beautiful today would be just got flushed out of my mind. My mind haven been so clear before..
Today is just another day. Just another normal day.
4 years anni? Dont think i'll ever celebrate another anni again.
I hate to say this but.. i dont believe in love anymore.